Sunday, 3 April 2011

Mothering Monkey Sunday

Today is mothering Sunday, so I went for an elegant lunch at a posh restaurant with my family. The surroundings were all lovely and genteel, that is until I arrived with my parents, brother, grandparents and my nan's cousin from Spain.

My nan and the Spanish cannot hold their wine at all, despite 50 years of practice, so they were really pissed. They can, therefore, be excused for their ridiculous stories and drunken screeches. My grandad, however, was the designated driver, and therefore the reason for his telling the following Karl-Pilkington-Worthy story are unclear. Apart from he is amazing.

"When I used to work at the animal rendering plant, we used to get all sorts in. We had monkeys, an elephant..."


"Yeah, a small one. Anyway, there was this bloke, Bob Nugget, who was as lazy as anything. He'd always be going over to people saying 'Oh, he's a lazy one, that Barney McBurger, he never does any work,' but he was the one who never did anything."

"Anyway, we found out that he was always sneaking off to the toilets, so over a few weeks we found out which was his favourite toilet to go in."

"So as I say, we used to get monkeys in, so one day we got this big bugger in, so we put it in Bob's toilet. It had clothes on, we'd put trousers on it and it had a cigarette hanging out of its mouth. We waited until the time that Bob would go to the toilet and put it in there."

"Now it was quite dimly lit in the toilets, so Bob went in, shut the door and everything and then went to sit down..."

"...and he sat on somebody's lap..."

"... and he turned around and it was the monkey, sat on the toilet, with his cigarette."

"So he yelled the place down and came out effing and blinding at us, asking who it was. But as I say, we used to get all sorts. There was an alligator once."

And that is how I spent my Mothering Sunday.

Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Comedy Comedy Comedy

For those of you that don't know, I perform comedy sometimes. I don't say "I am a comedian" because that implies a level of dedication and professionalism that I am just unwilling to commit to. However, I performed some yesterday at Laughter at The Lounge for the first time in ages and it was such a blast I thought I'd share it with everybody.

Thursday, 24 March 2011

El (n)Ombré*!

The biggest hair trend of 2011 is hotly tipped (excuse the pun...) to be the ombré style of high-lighting. Often confused for dip-dying or even grown out high-lights when seen on its celebrity advocates, the name ombré comes from the french verb ombrer which means 'to shade'. The clue to the concept is truly in the name; hair that is graduated from a dark shade to a lighter colour at the ends.

Celebrity fans Leighton Meester, Drew Barrymore and Jessica Biel

This look is a perfect combination of laid-back beach style and romantic, flyaway glamour. It's a look that grunge queen Alexa Chung has been sporting for several years to glorious effect, but it was with Drew Barrymore's dramatic roots' first red carpet appearance that really interested me in the look.

Due to work, laziness and an exploding dog I haven't had my hair cut and styled since December. Waking up to my first day off this week to glorious sunshine and unseasonal heat this morning, I knew that today was definitely the day to take a step towards this low-maintenance look....

... read the rest at my new Style and Fashion Blog, Sartorial Tyrant